Jonny! Jonny! Jonny! –updated

Posted on June 29, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–A new box is headed to a shipping dock near you featuring the graphical likeness of President-elect Jonny. The Same Day Shipping party scored a final victory last night when voting ended at 8:00 p.m. EST.

Our new President-elect

“3,281 votes shows a definite plurality of support for Jonny,” said deputy supervisor of elections Marga. “We will be certifying the vote without prejudice showing Jonny is the new president-elect this afternoon. Winners of the grand prize drawing will be announced by the President-elect on Monday’s Monday Morning Minute broadcast.”

A link to the broadcast will become available on this website at that time as well.

Those not already receiving the Monday Morning Minute video email may sign up to receive it by clicking here.

UPDATE: The list of Grand Prize Drawing winners is as follows:

PRIZE
Kent Woodward Jumbo Helicopter
Willie Perez Jumbo Helicopter
Patti Wood Jumbo Helicopter
Carrie Gainor Jumbo Helicopter
Suzanne Davis Beats by Dr. Dre Headphones
Roy Travino New Apple iPad
Posted in Candidate News, General Campaign News, Jonny | 1 Comment

Six Winners in Caucus Drawing

Posted on June 4, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–High-ranking HUB official Stuart Johnson declared the official winners today of the prize drawing to commemorate the end of the You’re the Boss Caucus. The winners, shown in the accompanying table, are the latest to profit from HUB’s election which has been going on since early May and is set to conclude at 8:00 p.m. EST on the 28th of June.

So far HUB has distributed 6 helicopters, 5 iPod Shuffles, and 3 Kindle Touches. In the final drawing that will occur at the conclusion of the election all eligible voters who have cast votes in any part of the election will have each of those votes become a chance to win the remaining prizes.

The remaining prizes are 4 more jumbo helicopters, a “Beats by Dr. Dre” headphone set, and a new generation iPad.

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Same Day Shipping Prevails In Close Primary

Posted on June 1, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–Early results from the recently concluded You’re the Boss Caucus show Jonny’s Same Day Shipping Party the victor by a slight margin.

Specialist Party candidate Leigh continued to build support throughout the month of this caucus segment but ultimately failed to best the polling of the Jonny Juggernaut. Preliminary counts show Leigh behind by a mere 11 votes.


The Top Three Candidates’ Primary Performance

As the election moves out of the primary segments into the final “general” election month, the effectiveness of Jonny’s campaign becomes obvious. Election analysts see little hope of any challenger closing the gap that Jonny’s three primary wins has created. “I’m afraid it’s going to be very difficult for Leigh or anyone else to make up the difference at this point,” said HUB TV’s Todd Tyler. “Of, course, there’s been upsets before, so anything’s possible.”

Posted in General Campaign News, Jonny, Leigh | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Brothers Strive to Keep Blood and Politics Separate

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Ken L.

The Candidates' childhood home

SOUTHERN COLUMBIA COUNTY, FL–The ranch style house where candidates John and Bennett grew up is still occupied by their parents. Memories of their childhood are everywhere. The sycamore tree that Bennett so loved to climb is a little older and taller now, and the paved walkway that John helped lay with his dad has held up nicely with the passing of time.

The recent revelation that the Smart P.O. party candidate and Just the Way You Like It party leader are brothers has sparked a curiosity into the kinship that the two men have so fastidiously kept from interfering with their campaign.

John, top and Bennett, right before they dreamed of bigger things

“We never purposely concealed our relationship,” said older brother Bennett. “It just never seemed to be all that important to the election.”

Younger brother John concurred. “I’ve been living in the shadow of my big brother all my life. I’ve worn his hand-me-downs. I didn’t think it would help my campaign to be defined that way.”

So, how do they deal with the sibling rivalry of competing against each other in this important election?

“It’s just another reason to stay sharp and be the best I can be,” John said. “When you come from a family of four boys, you learn how to survive.”

In the heat of the campaign, the two brothers have resisted the temptation to go negative on each other. “At the end of the day, we’re still brothers,” Bennett said, adding, “Our kids love to play together.”

 

 

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Brautigan Big Winner in Prize Drawing

Posted on May 7, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–Winners of the prize drawing from last week’s Fabulous Monday primary were announced today by HUB official Stuart Johnson on the Election Central broadcast.

The winners of the five prizes, drawn from all the eligible voters from the primary segment of HUB’s You’re the Boss election, are as follows:

Samuel inspects a Mega copter to ensure customer satisfaction

Mega Helicopter
Tim Kearly
Kathy Winsberg

iPod Shuffle
Seve Cama
Nancy Enquist

Kindle Touch
Jerry Brautigan

Two of the winners, Brautigan and Kearly, are presumed to be supporters of Saving Sheriff party candidate Samuel, who expressed hearty congratulations to the winners.

Posted in Bennett, Gabriel, General Campaign News, Jonny, Samuel | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Jonny Coasts to Primary Win; Leigh Becomes Threat

Posted on May 3, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–Same Day Shipping party candidate Jonny racked up another win in the recent Fabulous Monday Primary, giving him the strategic edge in the race to the White Box.

Jonny’s final tally of 32% of the vote was a slight improvement over the first primary, where he delivered a 29% victory.

Ho hum. Another victory for Jonny

Specialist Party Challenger Leigh, who came in second in the recent primary with 25% of the vote, posted the biggest improvement over the previous primary. Her third-place finish in that primary had garnered only 14% of the votes. If the surge in her popularity continues to build, she appears to be the only candidate capable of catching Jonny at this point.

The only other candidate to post a gain over the previous primary was incumbent president Gabriel, who came from obscurity to finish the primary in 4th place, just 6 votes behind the third place finisher Samuel.

Voters seem to be coalescing behind the two favored candidates as hopes dim for many of the other candidates. Not a single candidate has spoken publicly of deciions to withdraw from the race despite the growing inevitability of the outcome.

The prize drawing for the recent primary was conducted yesterday using a computerized random picker which chose five winners among the primary voters. The winners of Mega Helicopters, iPods, and a Kindle Touch will be announced on this site on Monday, May 7 in conjunction with an Election Central report that will be released at 9:00 a.m. EST on that day.

The voting continues in the third primary round of this election, the so-called “You’re the Boss Caucus,” which runs through the end of May. The election concludes on June 28.

 

Posted in Gabriel, General Campaign News, Jonny, Leigh, Samuel | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

UPDATED–‘Focus on HUB Nation’ Debuts Monday

Posted on April 27, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–A new politics-based talk program is set to debut on HUB TV on Monday, according to the HUB TV network.

The show, titled “Focus on HUB Nation,” will feature pundits from various sides of the political spectrum giving their take on the progress of the You’re the Boss election.

A hard-hitting talk show that will explore the politics of the You're the Boss election

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HUB TV promises there will be no pulled punches in the discussion of the political issues of the campaign, according to their press release.

The show will air on HUB Industrial Supply’s April 30 Monday Morning Minute to commemorate the wrapping up of the Fabulous Monday primary season, which will end at 5:00 EST on that day. The show will also become available on this website after the 9:00 a.m. release of the Monday Morning Minute email.

UPDATE: The program is now available HERE.

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Candidate Shaves Beard, Pulls an Anti-Lincoln

Posted on April 24, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–Abraham Lincoln famously grew his beard at the suggestion of a young girl who wrote him a letter.  Whatever it Takes party candidate Ross has taken the opposite approach to try to enliven his prospects at the polls.

The formerly bearded candidate has been showing up to campaign events clean-shaven.

Although it is a little early to gauge the impact of this makeover to the success of the candidate’s campaign, there are few who believe this will be the move that finally pushes Ross into contention.

“Well, if he shaved his beard, bought everybody a Cadillac, and locked Jonny in the basement for the rest of the election, that might make a difference in his prospects,” arch-rival Bennett, a candidate for the Smart P.O. party said dismissively of the move.

 

Posted in Bennett, Kurt | 1 Comment

Baby News Brightens Prospects for Lagging Candidate

Posted on March 30, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–#1 On the Street candidate Kurt has had some difficulty lately at campaign events because he can’t seem to repress the silly grin that seems incongruent with the seriousness of his situation. The candidate has consistently occupied the bottom third in  election polling, his election team is in disarray, yet he smiles–sometimes at inappropriate times–as if his cares are a million miles away.

The silly grins come often and without warning

Kurt recently revealed the reason for the carefree attitude that his handlers have found so maddening: his beloved wife is pregnant with their fourth child.

“Maybe I shouldn’t be admitting this on the record,” Kurt said, “but this new addition to my family is way more exciting to me than winning this election.” He quickly qualified that statement with kind words of gratitude to all who have been casting votes in his behalf.

The baby is due in September–far too late to be able to vote in the election. Pundits are eagerly watching to see if the announcement will yield Kurt a “baby bounce” in the polls.

 

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Specialist Party Message Begins to Resonate

Posted on March 21, 2012 by Ken L.

LAKE CITY–It may have taken a little time for Leigh to get her engine running, but the Specialist Party candidate lately has been firing on all cylinders.

After a slow slog in fourth place through most of the Super Thursday primary season, Leigh’s message of hope and change seems to be resonating with her crucial auto recycling sector. Since the beginning of the Fabulous Monday primary season last Friday, she has been holding steady in second place and gaining percentage points while perennial front-runner Jonny’s spectacular lead shrinks a little more every day.

Read all about it! Leigh's prospects are improving daily.

Does she have a shot at overtaking him? Polling experts agree that Leigh’s core constituency, the Auto-Recycling-American community, has a numeric advantage over Same Day Shipping party registered voters.  “If she can succeed in getting enough of them to vote with the same loyalty–day after day–as Jonny’s voters, there would be no stopping her,” observed political consultant Todd Tyler.

“Of course, that’s a big ‘if,'” he added.

Posted in Jonny, Leigh | Leave a comment