LAKE CITY–#1 On the Street candidate Kurt has had some difficulty lately at campaign events because he can’t seem to repress the silly grin that seems incongruent with the seriousness of his situation. The candidate has consistently occupied the bottom third in election polling, his election team is in disarray, yet he smiles–sometimes at inappropriate times–as if his cares are a million miles away.
The silly grins come often and without warning
Kurt recently revealed the reason for the carefree attitude that his handlers have found so maddening: his beloved wife is pregnant with their fourth child.
“Maybe I shouldn’t be admitting this on the record,” Kurt said, “but this new addition to my family is way more exciting to me than winning this election.” He quickly qualified that statement with kind words of gratitude to all who have been casting votes in his behalf.
The baby is due in September–far too late to be able to vote in the election. Pundits are eagerly watching to see if the announcement will yield Kurt a “baby bounce” in the polls.
